Loose Nukes and Tongues

The Bulletin Online has a very entertaining article on a recent press conference by Pakistani Brigadier General Atta M Iqhman and Colonel Zhalot in which they express their concern over the safety of America's nuclear arsenal. Coming from leaders of the same military which has helped some of the world's sketchiest nations gain access to nuclear technology, the comments seem a tad bit...er, hypocritical at times. Nevertheless, they do have a point when they say...

"Their leaders lecture us on the sanctity of life, and their president believes that every embryo is sacred, but they are the only country to have used these terrible weapons--not just once, but twice. Paul Tibbets, the pilot of the plane that bombed Hiroshima, said he never lost a night's sleep over killing 100,000 people, many of them women and children. That's scarcely human."

While Iqhman glared reproachfully at Zhalot for this rhetorical outburst, Zhalot continued: "We also worry that the U.S. commander-in-chief has confessed to having been an alcoholic. Here in Pakistan, alcohol is 'haram,' so this isn't a problem for us. Studies have also found that one-fifth of U.S. military personnel are heavy drinkers. How many of those have responsibility for nuclear weapons?"

After reading, I was reminded of this shocking revelation made by The Onion nearly five years ago.